


Feels Like I'm Drownin'

by leogrl19



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Ah Judy, F/F, Johnny finally Uses the Sense the Good Lord gave him and doesn't interrupt, Judy Judy Judy, Loud characters be Loud in mah head, Nomad V (Cyberpunk 2077), Write it Out, my V caused traffic accidents thinking about Judy texting her a wink, not gonna lie, thirst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leogrl19/pseuds/leogrl19
Summary: Pyramid Song - 2.0 Extended Release
Relationships: Judy Alvarez/Female V, Judy Alvarez/V
Comments: 27
Kudos: 133





	Feels Like I'm Drownin'

**Author's Note:**

> Pyramid Song was Perfect - okay - effin’ Perfection. (How many Times did I RELOAD) *chef’s kiss* Except one thing: How it ended. With typical game mechanic ‘See you later, Judy’. After Bae Gives V her goshdang apartment.
> 
> Nah.
> 
> We can do Better. We *Will* do Better. Let us Begin.

* * *

“What are you doing?” Small, crooked grin flashed her way. Breaking the relative silence. Distant chug of a looming Night City. Crash of waves trying to drown Everything out. “Know you got merc things. Busy, busy.” Tattooed arm leans to nudge her. (Lingers.) Judy breathing through it. Eyes never leaving the water. “Go on. Get outta here already.”

‘I’ll be fine.’

Doesn’t say it. But it’s Tangible between them.

It’s the Strong Alone.

“Mm.” V offers. _Agrees_. Metal-wrapped fingers still grasping red cup of coffee(Cold). Unmoving.

There’s always Something to do.

Some gig or side hustle or **Lead** to save her own _Life_.

They’ve had their Moment. It’s Done now.

She’s been dismissed.

Now on to the Next scene.

(But she—Can’t Get Up. Can’t Leave her,)

But every moment with Judy is Precious.

(Gives her - Life. For each.)

“Just finished a big job.” V rolls a shoulder. The other one. Not really stiff - cottage bed they shared surprisingly comfortable -

Just: Habit. From waking in various, less comfortable places.

Sets ridged cup down on metal pier. Beside its empty twin. Motion so Careful and light it almost feels ritualistic. “Still waiting for payment.”

Grin thins to smirk —- And she notices (smirk, smile, Grin) - Judy does them all a lot _More_. Handful of their encounters, BD editor mostly Frowning. A Stoic Disbelief. A Grudging Aid. “You sayin’ last night wasn’t Payment enough for you? Daaamn, V.”

Tosses her own brazen smirk. Before it (Inevitably) softens.

“Don’t wanna consider that payment.”

Green purple hair flicks to one side. That (goddamn _Adorable_ ) process of Judy glancing away. Smiling to herself. “Smooth.”

V gestures with a flourish. Gives a small bow.

More beats of the Not-Silence. The Almost Quiet. And they just kinda - Flounder. Just kinda _Endure_. Until -

“I can’t Leave.” (Is that an edge of _Panic_?)

V’s brow crumples.

Relief?

Nothing if not Honest. Honest as a Killer-for-Hire can be.

Scratches. Hair and flesh between spiked piercings at an eyebrow.

The V of before. The V of last night; would have left like she always did. Until she got the next call, the next message:

(and They - resumed)

Until, until, _until_

But this V. In the light of a new morning. In the wake of Commitment - What will _she_ do?

‘ _Think I gotta stay_.’

“It’s the coffee, right? Worth the wait.” Judy hums. And it buckles a little. Clears her throat. “Brew a mean cup of instant. If I do say so myself.”

“Coffee was shit.” V laughs. “Too much sugar.” Doesn’t wanna think of _That_ email. Judy teasing her Ex.

Grimaces.

“Ah,” Focuses, instead, on inked and non-inked fingers; fiddling like they want a cigarette. Want for something to Do. “May have been… Distracted….”

V arches a brow to that. Smirk resurfacing. Coffee-less hand reaching to smooth up other woman’s thigh. Warmth of brown skin before Rounding metal knuckles about drawn lace of intricate garter. Remembering how she - _Worshiped_. Each. Tattoo.

Judy’s canvas

“‘Distracted’?” murmurs;

“ _Shit_ , V…” bare thighs drift apart. (They _Open_ for Her.) Dark eyes turning up to her own. Judy’s soft, Full Lips - smeared from last night’s kisses - parting with wordless Need…

But this isn’t where she Wants to go. (That’s easy.) No matter how her Body **_Burns_** for it. Frenzy of wanting More of former - - Ecstasy…

They need Words now.

So V shifts. Withdraws her touch. Settles. On the cold, dingy metal under her ass; hard edge of it digging into her calves. Slowly taking her shoes off. Removing socks. Brown feet dangling. Soles far above toxic waters.

Quiets to take in: Yellow purples of burgeoning dawn

(Tastes Familiar.)

Take in: the Beautiful/Disturbing view. Tranquil lake hiding a sunken once-town; calming shores lined with miles of bagged garbage; ephemeral luminance of silver moon and hazy city ad lights.

Wonders what Artist next to her Sees. How it squares in her head.

(It’s All so _Fucked Up_.)

but - she’s looking away again.

“I Loved it.” Finally leaves her lips. And Judy Doesn’t turn to her; but there’s a shadow of a raised brow. A (- _React_ ) to one of those words.

All of ‘em?

“Our underwater escapade. I. Felt so much of you.” There’s a ‘Thank you’ in there, but saying it feels cheap.

Words can’t Touch her _Grateful_.

Briefly wishes they were Synced again - that Judy could feel it like morning sunshine. Warming red peaks and desert sand. Steady and bright. Whispers of her waking dreams and cinnamon-tinted Freedom.

Only now in - Lack. Realizes how Spoiled she was by the phenomena. The unexpected _Intimacy_.

How they didn’t need to _speak_ it. Only feel and Listen.

Chuckles - low and strangely vulnerable. “Fuck, Jude. Don’t have a Clue how to top it for our second date.”

Rubs at a knee. Dark synthetic leather.

Inhales:

“…You let me in your world.”

Her throat dries up; locks with emotion. Emotion that grabbed the words. Strangled them.

(Damn)

That Feeling again. Like her heart’s seizing;

Like it’ll - — _Burst_

So goddamn Grateful….

Sighs. Broken.

A coward (but that’s Fine). Fixed gaze to surrounding Contradictions.

Still: _Lost_. In that watery, red-tinted world. Filled with shadowy Memories and echoes of buried Sadness. Beautiful. Dismal. Feels like - if she could get Under that skin, split Judy open, she’d be like that too.

Hates the stupid, _Fucking_ busted biochip in her head - with its shitty ‘Relic malfunction’ -went and _Ruined_ _it_.

….Another breath. Swallows around a dry mouth. Fingers clutching knee now.

“Said I was waiting for payment; but may have had that backwards.” Weird. A weird feeling. “Feel like I owe You.”

Optics catch Judy shaking her head in their peripherals. Closing eyes; biting lip.

(So? - _Say It Already_.)

Scary she can’t tell if that’s Her thought or Johnny’s.

 _Shut the fuck up_.

For Good Measure.

“Had. Two thoughts. Once I woke up.” - when she didn’t _see_ her. “First was: ‘Wish I could wake to you.’.”

Other never There when she wakes.

“You blamin' me?” Hushed. But there’s a hint of heat. That **Temper**. That -- self-defense mechanism.

Always ready for a Fight.

V shakes her head. Not wanting them Diverted. “Second thought. When I saw you after leaving the cottage.” Feels brows scrunch up— _Tight_. “‘How Long were you Alone?’.”

Coffee still warm when she arrived, so not _Too_ Long -

Long Enough.

They don’t Always see eye to eye.

Judy’s Idealistic(Fatalistic). Both. In a way only True artists can pull off.

Realistic and Dreamy;

Hopeful and Damming the world.

 _Frustrating_. Times when their world views—-collide.

When the tech wants her to unload a clip in some prick’s Face; but not be Practical or want more Detes.

…But she thinks she Loves her. Thinks it’s _close_.

And - This. Nagging _Ache_ … Says she should stay Beside her. Says she shouldn’t just Go.

(…not like this…)

“Mm.” ( _Ahh_ \- she’s reverted). Hand not on her knee balling at the corner of her mouth. Thumb irritably scratching cheek.

(Was That - _enough_?)

Could she do _Better_?

Still feels Judy’s Hands;

Tongue. Lips. _Breath_.

Wants to get Lost - Revel in it….

Wants to Retract - --

“V.” **Decisive**. “Look at me.” Same kind of Tone. Like when she asked for her hand.

And she Gives In just as Easily.

Abandoning ‘whats’ and ‘whys’—-

Meets those eyes.

Witnessing: light shiver. Moment she does. Editor clicking tongue. “ _Bad_ idea…” looses muffled groan, “Should know better by now. Don’t know what I was thinkin’.” Judy smiles. Grins. Sheepish. “Always. Feel some kind of way when you look at me.” Arms raise to wrap or hug. Holding herself together. “Feels like I’m drownin’.” Lips curl soft. “Or diving. Either way: Oxygen is Limited. Can scarcely think to breathe….” Labored exhale. Sharp and turbulent. “Knowin’ every breath. Down to the bone.”

One hand slips to Judy’s chest. Imminent Collision course with fire truck careening under her clavicle.

“Get all. Choked up.”

Hand transitions to V’s mouth -- Covering it as if to _show_. Share the one feeling.

(Unnecessary.)

Resting at scarred cheek. Fingertips tracing raised lines there.

Her own ritual.

“Wasn’t only thinking about Evie.” Pushes it in a breath. “Thought about You too. How I got it all wrong. Was so _Angry_ …. Every step of the way - gave you shit - when you just wanted answers. Needed Answers. When You were-” swallows - Rough; “…Still. You always Came. Called. Kept your promises. Such. A. _Gonk_.” Judy repeats. Emphasizes. Swiping at the corners of painted eyes with her free hand.

Smiling.

“Wanna be selfish - y’know? But this. It's More than me - gotta be More. Gotta do this for You. For. For Us.” Fingers at her cheek… _caress_. Pat softly. “So - Go. Just. When I call. Keep Coming Back, a-alright?”

V nods. Even as she knows it’s a promise she likely can’t Keep.

(… _wants_ to….)

“Then. Just. A little while longer.”

Scoots. Makes their shoulders; thighs touch.

… _Yeah_ ,

Will have to Leave.

(For _Them_.)

But. Not now; not Yet.

….Not yet.

Gives. Another offering. Another dwindling piece of her Life for the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Now. Off to fantasize about Judy/F!V/Panam Nomad poly adventures… Nova.


End file.
